Did you read the most recent game update?
Because thats how I found it and got it working on my server.
More Ways To Connect
Regular Update
Posted
Sun, April 19
Connectivity Fixes, Direct IP Added & Save Backup System Update
Fixes for ISP-related issues, new Direct IP option, and a new experimental automatic save backups to prevent data loss
Dear captains,
Over the past few days, some of you have encountered several issues. Our team has been working in emergency mode to resolve them as quickly as possible so that more players can enjoy the game without disruptions.
Version: 0.10.0.3.104-256f9653
CONNECTIVITY SERVER SELECTION
We identified issues with certain ISPs blocking parts of our networking services. To address this, we’ve implemented the following changes:
Connectivity Server Selection: You can now manually choose a specific connectivity server instead of relying on automatic selection. You can also see which servers are reachable. Dedicated server settings can be configured via ServerDescription.json.
Known Issue: If your connection is unstable (high ping or packet loss), a connectivity server may appear as “available” even if it cannot actually be used.
You can now manually select which connectivity server to use.
If you were unable to connect with your friends before, try using different connectivity servers. All players must have access to at least one shared server.
This setting can also be adjusted for dedicated servers. Please allow some time for hosting providers to adapt to these changes, especially since it’s currently the weekend.
DIRECT IP CONNECTION
We also identified issues related to connections within the same network, as well as certain self-hosted dedicated server configurations. To address this, we’ve added the option to connect via Direct IP:
Direct IP Connection: A new option is now available when hosting a server (both in-game and dedicated). This works as an alternative to our connectivity services. When using Direct IP, players can only join via your IP address, and invite codes will not work. Dedicated server settings can be configured via ServerDescription.json.
Known Issue: When using Direct IP, if you enter an incorrect password or there is a version mismatch, the game will return you to the main menu without displaying an error message.
If you are unable to connect via connectivity services and none of them work for you (we’ve seen cases where ISPs block everything related to Windrose), you can try connecting via Direct IP as a workaround.
Advanced feature: May require manual router configuration (port forwarding / NAT setup). This option is intended for advanced users.